Monday, October 10, 2011

Relationship Advice from a Romance Author??

Hand holding, sweet whispers, gentle kisses...walks in the rain.  I confess.  I'm a romantic.


I love the feeling of being in love and having the perfect man whisper sweet nothings in my ear.  He's perfect.  He's always on time, is okay with watching romantic comedies, and loves my cookies.

#yeah I couldn't even type that with straight face.

Even my characters in my books aren't perfect.  Seriously, I've written books with at least four men in them and none of them are the perfect man.

Okay, yes, I do write about relationships, romance and falling in love. But I also write about falling out of love and none of my characters are in perfect relationships.

So why do people come to me for relationship advice based on what I write in my books? Honestly, do you really want relationship advice from a fiction author?

I'm not knocking my ability to state my opinion on anything you ask me, including love and relationships.  However, what makes you believe that anything that I say should be taken seriously?

My title is Jackie Chanel, romance author. #notalicensedtherapist  

My career is based on sitting at my computer and making stuff up.  I write the fantasy and when I get in a bind and don't know the answer or what my character should do in a messy situation...guess what I do.


But life isn't a romance novel.  It should be but unfortunately it isn't.  Books should have happy endings because, face it, no one is picking up a romance novel where the heroine is a divorced mom of 3 with unpaid bills, house in foreclosure and a no good ex-husband who refuses to help.  No one wants to read that unless there's a knight in shining armor who will swoop in and save her just when she's about to hit rock bottom

(that's a good premise - NO ONE STEAL THAT)

In reality, in this life, there's no knight in shining armor.  It's unfortunate but true.  There's no perfect relationship.  The idea of a perfect relationship scares me.  If two people in relationship never disagree, never fight, never are mad at each other and always get along, either 2 things are happening...

1-They're lying
2-They're lying 

It's that simple.  The only perfect relationship is in books and movies.  And I'm sorry to say, I can't give advice about how to be in a relationship.  I don't even like to.  My relationship isn't perfect and I don't want anyone to ever think that it is.  I choose to share the good with my friends and family and the funny or WTF moments with my Tweeps.

I choose to keep the bad between me and him (sometimes my mother too).

Sure, it's nice to have girlfriends that you can vent to when things aren't going as good as you think they should.  I'm more than happy to be that ear.  Hell, I need all my friends at least twice a month.

But taking relationship advice from a romance author is like taking parenting advice from a person who has never had kids or marriage advice from a single person. #notgoodadvice

If you ask me my opinion, sure, I'll give it to you.  If you want to know how to write characters that are easy to relate to or men that women will fall in love with... #I'myourgirl

But relationship advice?  Don't be surprised if my answer starts with "well, Sunny would do/say..."

Know your audience.  And please keep in mind that I get all my ideas from McKenzie (my muse).  If you can find her, she'll probably have a lot to say.  #checkStarbucks

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