Friday, July 27, 2012

"Love is Chemistry. Sex is Physics."

chem·is·try   [kem-uh-stree]
noun, plural chem·is·tries.
1.the science that deals with the composition and properties of substances and various elementary forms of matter.
2.chemical  properties, reactions, phenomena, etc.: the chemistry of carbon.
3.the interaction of one personality with another: The chemistry between him and his boss was all wrong.
4.sympathetic understanding; rapport: the astonishing chemistry between the actors.
5.any or all of the elements that make up something: the chemistry of love.

"Love is Chemistry.  Sex is Physics".

I came across the quote when I started doing research for Untitled and it has stuck with me ever since.  We've all mistaken love for something that it is not.  Often what we mistake for love is simply lust.  I'm guilty of it.  Confess.  So are you.

When I started writing Untitled, I had to ask myself...repeatedly, what was really happening with Sunny and Aiden.

As a romance author, I know to know the difference between love being real and love being physical.  My books wouldn't be considered romance novels if the love between my characters wasn't believable.

It's one thing to write about sex, it's so much harder to write an entire novel with characters who genuinely love each other.  The chemistry between the 2 characters has to spill from the pages or else no one is going to believe that Aiden just didn't want to "tap that".

I could write all day about sex.  Writing about sex is fun.  The physical attraction between two people that is so dynamic that all they want to do is rip each other's clothes off is fascinating.

But I am not Zane.

When I write, I draw from emotions that I've felt and experiences that I've witnessed...which makes writing about love and the chemistry between two people who genuinely love each other so damn difficult.

Like I said, I'm completely guilty of mistaking love for lust so drawing from real life experiences makes me want to pull out my hair.  Then there's the added benefit of love being so complicated.

Love isn't just three words.  There are "differences of opinion", compromise, and a ton of other issues that go hand in hand with "I Love You".

And let's be honest here, chemistry is dangerous.  Do you remember your high school chemistry lab?  I remember mine. Eye wash stations, protective masks and goggles, warning labels.

Chemistry can seriously hurt you.

Stepping into a chemistry lab is just as dangerous as using the words "I love you".  The unprepared, unattentive, and distracted should not enter.

What I'm starting to learn, both from my writing and real life, that the chemistry of love is just as hard to understand as my high school chemistry class.

It takes time, patience, understanding, and a willingness to learn.  But once you get it right, brillant things can happen.

What about you?  Do you agree that love is chemistry and sex is physics?  Do you believe that if both are mastered then the relationship will work?

Let's discuss.

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